February was a tough month for me training-wise. As in, I didn't do much of it. The person who never gets sick (me) got a terrible upper respiratory infection that sidelined her for three weeks, and it's really only now in the sixth week since getting ill that I'm feeling 100% again with my breathing. There was a benefit to the time off, though, and it's that I had the opportunity to rest my injured left hip flexor. The rest, combined with some physical therapy during that time to restrengthen the muscle, seems to have helped, and I'd say it's at about 90%.
Great news, right? I could jump right back into the training and pick up where I left off and I'd still be on target for the marathon in June. Except that I found out it doesn't work that way, and just to remind me of that, now my right hip is messed up, probably bursitis.
I thought that much of the challenge of training for a marathon was going to be mental. Running 26.2 miles isn't just a physical endeavor. You have to contend with the aches and pains and the walls you will hit during the run. It's why the phrase "it's a marathon, not a sprint" exists. It's like a little microcosm of life, complete with ups, downs, failures and triumphs. And training for a marathon is the same way.
When I started this blog, I said that part of putting my story out there was to hold me accountable and make sure I do this. I didn't want to have any excuse to quit when it got hard mentally. I wanted to weather the ups and downs and ultimately triumph. What I didn't know was that the mental challenges would not be my only challenges. I had no idea that my body might not cooperate. I had never had injuries due to athletic activity. I figured my only hurdles would be mental, and I spent all my time preparing for those.
So what is this lesson that I've learned? That I'm old and my body might not hold up the way it did when I was 30-something? No. In fact, the lesson I learned is that the best laid plans sometimes don't work out the way I want or expect them to....and it's okay. That second part, that's the part I learned. That it's okay if things outside my control - like a physical injury (or a boyfriend dumping me unexpectedly over the phone) - mean that I have to do the half-marathon instead of the full (or that I have to sign up for Match.com yet again). That it's how I react to the setback that matters, by accepting it and by not making it mean something negative about me.
I guess I've had to learn this lesson before (recently, even), but I admit that I've never been great at accepting when my plans don't work out. I've never been great at letting go. And that's what this is. Letting go of something and not feeling like a failure that it didn't work out. Accepting what is and making the best of the situation. That is the gift I've gotten from this experience.
Now, before you ask, I have every intention of doing the marathon in June. I hope to resume my training as soon as I rest this latest injury, and I will do everything in my power to prevent further injuries by stretching, using the evil foam roller, buying new shoes and even trying barefoot running. I really want to accomplish this goal more than anything.
But if my physical limitations prevent me from being able to run 26.2 miles on June 12th, then I'll run 13.1 miles on June 12th and celebrate the accomplishment just as happily. And then I'll sign up for another marathon at a later date and hope that my hips hold up for that one.
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